The other day I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I brought both boys with me knowing that this pick up was going to be a quick one. What usually takes all of 15 minutes turned into an hour.
Owen was sitting in the back of the cart when he started calling for me. “Mom! Mom! Mommy…” I directed my attention to him as he pointed and said “Look at his butt!” I could feel my face turning 50 shades of red when I glanced up and sure enough my son was eye level with this older gentleman’s backside. I nodded to Owen and put my finger to my lips to thinking it would quiet him, but apparently the shush sign was lost in translation when he turned up the volume and said “Look! My face is in his butt!!” The gentleman turned around and clearly wasn’t amused. I did a polite wave while shaking my head and apologized for my son bringing attention to his extremely flat tush.
Go figure something was wrong with my insurance that day and a young ambitious pharmacy tech was ready to get to the bottom of it. At the counter, we were 15 minutes into a phone call with my insurance company when my cutie pies starting pointing out that this was a horrible decision on my part. I thought I was being entertaining hiding Hank behind his feet asking “where’s Henry?” and then pulling them apart excitedly saying “there he is!” But he let out a cry that said, “if you ask me one more time where I am, I am going to crap my pants right here at this counter and you didn’t bring the diaper bag. Oh, you didn’t think I noticed did ya?” I take a step back with my hands in the air and turn towards Owen who had been deep in thought for a few minutes. I asked him what he was looking at and he stands up and points his finger at an innocent pharmacy patron. As if he had a megaphone to his mouth he said, “see that man?” I turn my head along with a handful of other people standing around, “he has a grumpy face! Why does he have a grumpy face?” He calls out to the man, “BE HAPPY!” I cover his mouth and wave to the man who now had a reason to be grumpy.
Finally the lady hands me my prescription. I turned around holding it in the air for Mr. Flat Ass and Mr. Grumpy Face to see and said, “Good news guys, I got my birth control!” I left the pharmacy with a kid under each arm and my humility in check.